Recipe Review: The Hell of Homemade Ice Cream

I coveted this baby for a long time:

Kitchen Aid Ice Cream Maker

And I was deliriously happy when I got it for Christmas. I literally pulled out the laptop right then and there (screw whatever other gifts I received that year) to start reviewing all of the recipes I pinned that could ONLY be created using this totally necessary tool.

Have you ever really looked at any of those ice cream recipes you’ve pinned? Even more importantly, have you watched the dessert round of Chopped and thought, “oh, that’s not too bad”?

When I mean not too bad, I mean the ease at which it seems to come together. The chefs throwing a couple of ingredients together, pouring it into the ice cream maker, then removing it at the right time. Seems pretty simple, especially if you have a recipe to follow.

NO. IT’S NOT SIMPLE.

The ice cream maker above is nothing like the Chopped ice cream maker. And if you get a craving for ice cream… well, better hope you still have it until tomorrow. Cause that’s how long it usually takes to actually make ice cream. Here’s the process:

Step 1: Think about making ice cream. Gather all ingredients. Realize you’re missing something. Go to store. Come home.

Step 2: Make your custard base thing. It involves boiling.

Step 3: Chill your base. Recipes typically suggest overnight. Freeze your ice cream maker at the same time because you can’t just keep it in your freezer since it’s so full… despite the fact that you have a chest freezer as well.

Step 4:  Next day, pour your base into the frozen ice cream maker WHILE THE CHURNY THING IS SPINNING. Curse because the maybe-soon-to-be ice cream splatters everywhere. Churn.

Step 5: Guess what? It’s still not ready to eat yet. Pour it into a container and put it in the freezer for a couple of hours.

And 25 days later, you have homemade ice cream! If that hasn’t made you tired, then here’s a couple of recipes I’ve taste tested, just for you:

Obviously my ice cream maker never got any use. Obviously.

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